The University

of Alberta |

They're off!

26 candidates want your vote in SU elections

by Sheila Soder

Coming soon to a campus near you are the Students’ Union Executive elections—nominations for candidates closed yesterday at 5 p.m.

“This is a very healthy number of candidates for an election,” said an enthusiastic Kyle Kasawski, the election’s chief returning officer. “It takes a lot of gonads to put yourself on the line for two weeks, as well as all of the prep time before that. If you get elected, you deserve it.”

There are a total of 26 candidates for six positions. Campaigning begins Monday, March 3, at 6 p.m. Advanced polling is on Tuesday, March 11 in SUB, with the majority of students going to the polls March 12 and 13. While there was speculation about students using the OneCard to access electronic voting lists for the first time, voters will receive the traditional hole-punch in the cards instead.

Students will also be asked to vote in a referendum regarding a student health plan on the same ballot. Paraphrased, the question to be asked is “for a fee of not to exceed $89 [per student per year], would students accept a health plan,” said Kasawski. “It’s an opt-out plan where students need to prove that they are covered by another health plan [to have their money refunded].”

Kasawski also said that although students had the opportunity to run campaigns on both sides of the issue, only a Yes slate has been formed.

“Nobody came to the info session,” said Kasawski. “ [Wednesday] a Yes side was formed.”

University of Alberta students were asked to vote in a similar referendum last spring but the results were dismissed. “The information campaign [which accompanied the referendum] was deemed biased and subjective—it was viewed that there was no way that students could fairly make a decision,” said Kasawski.

Candidates:

President: Stephen Curran, Hoops Harrison, Kris the Masturbation Man, David Losey, James McLeod, Space Moose

VP Academic: Andrea Crawford, Sheamus Murphy

VP External: Q Kyliuk, James Lee, Nicole Stogrin, Heather Taylor, Dave Watt

VP Operations & Finance: Garth Bishop, John Seo, Juli Stoneberg

Board of Governors (Undergraduate) Representative: Marcie Brulotte, Susan Flynn, Narmin Hassam, Quang Luong, Mimi Williams

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Please recycle this newspaper

Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace

crowd in Dinwoodie’ s Tuesday igh |

a headline that will blow your a

The Official Students'Newspaper since 1910

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Volume 86, Issue 37 Thursday, February 27, 1997

University grants same- sex benefits

by Sarah E. Kelly

The University of Alberta is finally catching up with the rest of the country. The Board of Governors’ recent decision to grant same-sex spousal benefits for its employees has pleased staff and students.

“The U of A is not in a leadership role for this issue,” said Office of Human Rights directer Fran Trehearne. “There’s certainly not a major research- intensive university in Canada that wasn’t already providing this.”

The benefits for homosexual employees will now almost match those of heterosexual couples. Same- sex couples will be offered a pension plan, supplementary health care (including presriptions and dental care) and an optional life insurance plan.

CONTENTS Student Help: p.2 Letters: p.4-5 Sports Stats: p.13 Comics: p.14-15 Classified: p.16 TLFs: p.16

Lotsa iron rings

by Chris Miller

Campus geers are gearing up for National Engineering Week and hope to put a human face on an area sometimes thought of as little more than formulas and theories.

“We want to promote the idea that we graduate into a profession that has implications in the real world,” said Gene Kushnir, a fifth- year mechanical engineering student and chair of the U of A’s National Engineering Week committee.

To get the message out, engineering students will be setting up displays around campus between March 1 and 8. Kushnir also said they will be visiting their former high schools to talk directly students, where they can offer first-hand experience to potential new geers. “High school students are gong to have to make their decision within

the next three months as to what they want to go into in university.

“What we want to do is pass along to students our experience from engineering.”

He added students should also be aware of scholarships and engineering transfer programs from local community colleges. “They can actually accomplish their first year in the community colleges if they couldn’t get in here.”

Engineering students will also have the chance to talk to high school students at the Science Olympics this Saturday at the Edmonton Convention Centre, where engineering students will act as judges.

Activities here at the U of A will feature technical displays in SUB on Monday, and a technical lecture that evening by the engineering firm

“The U of A is not in a leadership role for this issue ... there’s certainly not a major research-intensive university in Canada that wasn’t already providing this.”

—Office of Human Rights Director Fran Trehearne

However, Alberta Health Care will not be offered. “The province of Alberta controls that,” said Trehearne, “and they define [Alberta Health Care] as only available to a spouse, and a spouse is a person of the opposite sex.”

While Trehearne cites “internal pressure” as one of the reasons that the BoG came to this decision, he also suggests that a motive for implementing these benefits was “competitiveness for top people.” He added that “we have a number of very capable faculty and staff who have served the university for a very long time who are gay or lesbian who, quite properly, were saying [...] ‘there’s an inequity here.’”

The issue of same-sex benefits was first raised in 1990 when both students and staff complained about the discrepancy between benefits for heterosexual and homosexual staff members. People began to notice that sexual orientation was playing a role in salary. However, at the time, the provincial laws made any action toward remedying the situation impossible. “In about 1992 or 1993 the law had changed sufficiently that a fair number of benefits could be made available,” said Trehearne. The Presidents’ Commission for Equality and Respect was notified and finally, action was taken.

The Alberta provincial government is one of only two provincial governments which does not list sexual orientation as a protected ground. The other is Prince Edward Island. “That's a big issue,” said Trehearne, “and it’s going to the Supreme Court of Canada.”

Trahearne said that same-sex couples receiving what benefits they can under prea law is “a bit of a non-issue, except to say that we're finally there.”

INSIDE Debatable PaCnOn: The U of A Debate Club is off to exotic Calgary to

defend our school’s honour in the Western Canada debate finals. Unclean! Uncleani: yes, kiddies, the annual Gateway purity test is here. You always knew you were deviant: find out how bad you truly are... One for the road: read the review of Lost Highway, a David Lynch film that is about as surreally weird as most David Lynch films. Entertainment, page 9

Halfway there: the U of A Golden Bears hockey team faces the U of C dinosaurs in the Canada West semi-finals. Next stop unknown...

News, page 3

Feature, page 6

Sports, page I1

Page 2 Thursday, February 27, 1997 gateway

Relationships

The basic ingredient for any relationship is trust. That includes the freedom to be yourself and allow your friend or partner to be his or herself. Another important aspect is respect. While everyone understands that chemistry is necessary for any relationship, it is not enough by itself for a true friendship to form.

Something we can all do is think about what we look for in relationships and reflect on the key elements of our established relationships. Do we claim to search for trust, yet consistently have partners who cheat? Do we think having things in common is important in a relationship but choose partners who doesn’t share our values? We may be able to learn more about ourselves, our behaviour, and our relationships this way.

Love Doesn't Hurt

Would you know if you were being abused in a relationship? If your partner didn’t hit you, could s/he still be abusive toward you? Yes.

Abuse can be emotional, verbal, spiritual, economic, sexual, and physical. Are you being treated as a whole person or are you held responsible for everything that goes wrong? Often, abuse can start off subtly.

Leaving an abusive relationship

can feel difficult and complicated, but there are resources available to help. If you know someone who is involved in an abusive relationship, the best thing you can do is offer support and stand by your friend. Victims of abuse often need time to decide what to do. If they are made to feel inadequate for not leaving the relationship immediately, their response may be to stop reaching out for help.

After a breakup

At Student Help, we often see people who have recently broken off a relationship. If you've lost an important relationship, chances are it will be painful for a long time. That’s completely normal.

Experts state that a year is the minimum time it takes to heal from the loss of a long term relationship. It’s been said that it takes seven years to fully recover from a long- term relationship. That’s not to say that you have to spend the next seven years weeping, but do give yourself plenty of time to heal.

Feelings of betrayal and self- blame for not getting over the loss fast enough are common. Anger, sadness, fear, blame, and feelings of abandonment and hopelessness are all normal after the loss of a relationship.

Blaming yourself and placing high expectations for recovery on yourself are also common, but

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What helps?

Talking to someone you trust can help. It could be a friend, a relative or a counsellor. Some people find keeping a journal quite healing. You can write down all your feelings without worrying about being judged or interrogated about them. Keeping a top ten list of things you can do when you feel really down can help. Another useful tactic is to write downa list of things you like about yourself and keep it accessible.

To help a friend over

a breakup

Helping your friend means being a good listener. This is not the time for advice or I-told-you-so’s, nor is it the time to jump on the bandwagon and say everything you hated about your friend’s ex- partner. Listen with an open heart as well as an open ear. You're not being asked to solve the problem or choose a side.

Resources:

Cornerstone Counselling: 482-6215

The Family Centre: 423-2831 Student Counselling Services: 2-600 SUB, 492-5250

Student Help: 030N SUB, 492-HELP(4357)

The Support Network: 482-HELP(4357)

W.I.N. House Women’s Shelter: 479-0058

won't help you.

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edmonton‘ s i d a nt

by Lauren Podlubny

Members of the University of Alberta Debate Society are firing up their brains for the McGoun Cup tournament that will be held in Calgary this weekend.

This year the tournament is being hosted by the University of Calgary and will be attended by over 40 teams from schools throughout western Canada. The U of A is sending eight teams to the three day event, which is one of four national tournaments held throughout the country.

Debate Society president Grant Yiu says “We hope to present the best arguments in the best ways possible. That’s what we have to do. That’s what we train our people to do.”

The McGoun Cup debates are held in Impromptu Parliamentary style, which means that the teams are assigned a topic and given only 15 minutes to prepare their arguments. Participants

from the

WZA\ Talking it to Calgary

University of Alberta are required to provide their own transportation, registration fees and accomodation for the tournament, whereas a number of teams from other schools are subsidized for participation in national tournaments.

The U of A Debate Society last took the championship home with them in 1995 from Saskatchewan. The Cup was hosted on our campus last year, and U of A teams took both third and fourth places. As for aspirations of success this time, Yiu explains, “We have one of the strongest societies in western Canada ... I’m very confident that we will represent not only the U of A Debate Society, but also the U of A as a whole very well.”

The Society has 65 members, and offers its members no formal training. The aim is to “teach [members] to speak coherently and teach them to think on their feet ... to be able to think and act instead of just listening and following”, said vice president, Aly Kanji.

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gateway Thursday, February 27, 1997 Page 3

Tripping at the Timms’ Centre

by Mark Barker

Is the Timms’ Centre safe for drama students? A letter to the Gateway related a situation during a performance of School for Scandal where one of the flies (a piece of scenery that is lowered onstage by a rope) went the wrong way. No one was injured. In fact, no one at the Timms’ Centre has ever been injured in any similar incident.

All major theatres have a safety supervisor on staff to deal with safety concerns and act as insurance against these types of accidents.

The letter raised the concern that there was no safety supervisor on stage at the time. According to the Drama Department Chair, David Barnet, “there was, in a

manner of speaking”.

A professional stage manager hired by the Timms’ Centre was supervising the play from the audience and saw the entire incident. The manager was connected by headset to the entire technical crew and aware of the embarrassment to the production as well as the danger it presented. The manager alerted the operator of the problem.

A follow up report stated that the fly did go in when it was supposed to go out. However, Barnet pointed out that there was no loss of control: it was a simple mistake and the wrong rope was pulled the wrong way by the student operating the flies. “These things happen,” said Barnet. “We

a

had a supervisor who watched the student for seven runs ... when the incident occurred ... we called him back in immediately.”

The decision to allow the student to operate the equipment was made by the safety supervisor. The Timms’ Centre uses a team support system instead of having a full time safety monitor on site for all productions.

Timms’ Centre staff are serious about the safety of their backstage operations. “We will not take from or cut from education [and safety] for our students,” were Barnet’s final comments. “It’s all part and parcel of being an actor ... You | actually have more risk of falling off the stage than being injured by anything like this.”

nnifer Park

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THE SIGN OF FULL POSTAL SERVICE MEANS...

by Mary Pinkoski Access Fun

Amidst the tables of drinks and food, Students’ Council held its las meeting in the Back Room Bar at Power Plant,

president Garett’ Poston also s

private sector.

Holy carpets!

A long-standt debate was put to an end when Council voted to replace the carpet in the chaplains’ offices. ;

“We haven't done anything in that office since SUB was built,” said councillor Dave Watt, who

recurring

introduced the motion to Council. “The chaplains provide a service that is equally, if not more important, than that provided by Japan or the Coffee Comp: : Council rejected an ad

ternational Semina ithdrawn at that nigeting ene Brody funding comn mmended the allocation. In accordance with a w, grants over $500 mu roved by Council, but*th cheque was granted anyway after the motion was withdrawn. Poston apologized for the mistake in his report to Council, but Arts councillor Alifeyah Gulamhusein moved that Council

Service AND FOR COLLECTORS... U of A Postal Outlet : RENTA * Collectors' Stamps * Stamp Students’ Union Building a breach of bylaw and a councillor’s or BOX \ Collections « Mint Coins of Canada Lower Level -concern is ‘getting bent out of | Es * Gifts Tel: 482-7716/FAX: 492:7717 shape’.” | $6. 50 Bilingual Service available at this outlet. Services bilingues Mon-Fri 9am - 6pm Gulamhusein’s motion failed. | parents / post Conuratonc rat eu epee caeee ee Sat. 12pm - 4pm Prodigteravplebialan tarlipaaie Fam Sete pect Bee Sun. closed aes Sac ae Aey

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express its disapproval over how the situation was handled. “Council should say this is a problem and we don’t agree with it,” Gulamhusein urged Council. Poston countered by saying that Council has the opportunity to revisit any issue. “We could turn this into a loan if we want.”

POSTAGE AND MAILING SERVICES FOR PARCELS AND LETTERS

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Career Opportunities

Undergraduate Students Chemical and Materials Engineering

NWelh Polke ies Van SPOR woo VSN MADEN V-POTVdINS BOOM SLB ON MPP

SESS SS NSASSSAANGRR RE RRSREREER AN SGA RRTR ARR

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¢ Are you a student who has taken the basic Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry courses in first year? °Do you aspire to an interesting, rewarding career? ° Are you considering transferring to Engineering?

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you should find out more about opportunities in Chemical and Materials Engineering.

Chemical Engineers design the complex plants that convert raw materials into a range of products from petrochemicals, to fertilizers, to a wide array of polymers. They oversee the building of these plants and are involved in their running and maintenance. Companies employing chemical engineers range from large corporations like Dow and Syncrude to small consulting firms dealing with specialized issues like environmental protection or specialized petrochemicals.

Materials Engineering is a program which bridges the gap between science and engineering and offers a wide range of career opportunities from basic research to applied engineering. Companies employing materials engineers range from those dealing primarily with metals or polymers like Alcan Aluminum or Inco or Nova, to smaller companies in the service industries dealing with materials selection and materials performance in service.

Both programs offer a co-operative education stream so that you can acquire valuable work experience and pay your own way.

If you would like to find out more about opportunities in Chemical Engineering contact Judy at 492-7395 and in Materials Engineering contact Nancy at 492-2916. Just say you're and undergraduate student who would like to find out more about the opportunities in Chemical or Materials Engineering and you'll be put in touch with a Professor who can provide more information.

After ® Years We Are

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Managing Editor: Jill Dixon 492-5178

ONE DAY IN A CHINESE GRAVEYARD.

1903

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HEY... MAYBE we CouUED- USE -THAF NEW CLONING TECHNOLOGY

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CHOOSE WISELY

It is time for each of us to work at mak- ing the best possible life for ourselves and everyone else in this province of ours. I am speaking about the upcoming provin- cial election. If we work together as a prov- ince, we have the power to change the course of our future.

I want to stress that Jam not a member of any political party and do not propose that any one party is the best one to sup- port. Instead, I believe in quality health care, quality education and protection for our environment.

Secondly, I believe in quality education for both children and adults in programs that are properly funded with modern equipment and smaller class sizes. Lastly, I want a government that encourages fur- ther development of our economy while protecting the environment from damage

due to excessive development.

In our present provincial govern- ment, the issue of ecomonic develop- ment has been stressed to such an ex- tent that health care, education and the environment have been either harmed immensely or completely ignored. Our province is one of the wealthiest in the country and yet spends either the low- est or second lowest amounts each year on both healthcare and education. In addition, this same government has threatened to privatize our provincial parks.

It seems that the only viable alter- native governments would be either Liberal or New Democrat. However, I feel that a New Democrat government would not support the economy of our province sufficiently due to their policy of higher taxation than any of the other

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political parties. At the same time, the typically moderate taxation policies of a Liberal government would still allow for moderate growth in our economy and would support our private sector suffi- ciently. In addition, it is my under- standing that the New Democrats presently have representives from their party in only about one-half of the constituencies in the province so complete representation from the NDP seems quite unlikely.

On election day, I ask that you join me in supporting the Alberta Liberal party because we must present a united effort at the poles in order to make a difference.

Langdon J. Guay Edmonton, AB IF YOU TALK THE TALK, SEND LETTERS. 0-10 SUB.

— sg atew a yr—wW~

Contributors Rudi’1000”Gunther, Sheila Soder, Sarah ”E for 172.9” Kelly, Neal Ozano, Mark Barker, Rachel Devins, Chris Miller, Lauren Podlubny, Mary Pinkoski, LA Craggs, Mike Winters, Adam Thrasher, Pete Pachal, Nathan “158.9” Fairbairn, Patrick “wrote the survey two years ago” Fowlow, Theo Buchinskas, Mark N. Barker, Christina Kornelsen, Crystal Cochrane, Evan Bedford, Jennifer Park, Jeevan Thomas, Jim Jeong, Jon Jarvis, Brandice Shostak, Denise Fernandes

Published Since November 21, 1910 Readership 30,000 Purity Test scores Volume 86 Issue 37

174.9-in-Chief Chris Jackel 492-5168 Managing 123.9 Jill Dixon 492-5178 News Conscientious Objector Rose Yewchuk 492-7308 News 207.9 Tim Shoults 492-1483 Entertainment 325.9 Scott Sharplin 492-7052 Sports 105.9 Wade Tymchak 492-5068 Photo 339.9 Jaroslaw Malanowski 492-1482 Production 236.9 Christine Osinchuk 492-3423 Circulation 546 Susan Sava 492-5068 Advertising Driven Snow Sandra Horrigan 492-4241

Advertising 492-4241, Room 2900 SUB Main Office 492-5168, Room 0-10 SUB FAX Number 492-4643

Mailing Address Room 2900 Students’ Union Building, U of A, Edmonton, AB, T6G 2J7

email Address gateway@pybus.su.ualberta.ca All materials appearing in The Gateway are copyright their creators and may not be used without their written permission. The University of Alberta Students’ Union reserves the h h A Ib right of ownership of all photos taken by the photo editor for 18 months after the material is published. Contents of The Gateway are the responsibility of the Editor-in-Chief. All

ome page ttp://www.su.ua erta.ca/gateway/ grievances should be submitted in writing to either the Editor-in-Chief, Room 0-10 SUB, or the Students' Union Vice-President Student Life, Room 2900 SUB. All opinions signed

by the writer do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gateway.

gateway Thursday, February 27,1997 Page5

The ongoing controversy over video lottery terminals brings up an interesting issue that provincial politicians must address. This, of course, is whether the government has a responsibility to protect citi- zens from pursuing activities which are potentially damaging to them- selves and their families.

Most people have at least some familiarity with the local petitions and the pressure that the opposition is placing on the ruling Conserva- tive government to outlaw the ma- chines in this province. Most peo- ple will also be familiar with some of the sob stories promoted by the opponents—the families who go hungry because the VLT addicted mother or father blows all their money on gambling.

VLT opponents contend that outlawing the machines altogether is the best way of solving the prob- lem. If the tools of gambling are taken away, then it will be impossi- ble for someone to squander away their family’s grocery money, and

hence their families will become bastions of unadulterated happi- ness.

There is, however, a fundamen- tal problem with this kind of action: the fact that it totally disregards both

the rights of the O[- sgesmmmsaenenssmmsssennenny ssn ers SSIES ESTE Outlawing VLTs would mean sacrificing personal responsibility for one’s actions

and thus the freedom to make the errors in

erators to profit from something that is in demand, and the rights of in- dividuals to engage in activities which

some of which are serious. When you were a kid your mom told you not to put your hand on the hot plate because you would burn yourself. However, mom’s advice did not have any real meaning until you

the first place.

they enjoy—even if such activities may inflict harm on themselves.

Now, I realize that words like ‘freedom’ and ‘personal responsibil- ity’ are slowly going out of fashion, and are being replaced by chic new catch phrases such as ‘government regulation’. Freedom requires per- sonal responsibility, and the erosion of personal responsibility runs par- allel with the erosion of freedom. Outlawing VLTs would mean sac- rificing personal responsibility for one’s actions and thus the freedom to make the errors in the first place.

If you think about it for a sec- ond, it is apparent that most of the important and meaningful lessons in life came from making errors,

actually did it and suffered the con- sequences. While no one could say that having people addicted to VLTs is actually a good thing in the my- opic sense that the Liberals and anti-

FREE THE WLI

VLT activists are describing, it is

good in the sense that the people

who are addicted are exercising

their right to liberty and will even-

tually learn from their mistakes. The

apparent benefits of banning VLTs are greatly outweighed by the ero- sion of personal liberty it would further.

This situation does not involve ‘solving a problem’ but instead maintaining a system that pro- motes creativity, individualism, and personal responsibility. The

anti-VLT lobby would rather have the government dictate people's thinking to them. To allude back to my hot stove metaphor, how many creative people do you know whose

Opinion

mom would never let them make a mistake, but instead coddled him under the safe warmth of her breast, never letting him do anything but things that are proven safe? Human perfectablity, if it is to exist, will never emerge from regu- lations place on individual lives imposed from the government down. This will create a society of snivelling little Momma’s boys. Hu- man beings improve themselves by taking chances, making errors, and taking responsibility for the conse- quences. To ban VLTs would put another nail in the coffin of freedom that has already been hammered in by power-hungry governments.

HOOPS' JOB CORNER

Experience:

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Successful candidates will perform customer service responsibilities in a branch; cash cheques; accept deposits; close accounts; and process daily

Please drop off resumes at Career and Placement Services and address them to:

Linda Fullwood Assistant Manager, Recruitment Alberta Treasury Branches 10th Floor, 9925 - 109 Street Edmonton, Alberta TSJ 2N6

CLOSING DATE: March 3, 1997

... another service of your Students' Union oe as i

Is there a management career in your future?

With a CMA after your name, you can bet on it.

Just remember the ‘MW’ word. Management.

Photo: Jeff Lastiwka, CMA,

Senior Consultant. Ernst & Young Betty Mah, CMA, Business Analyst, Alasco Services Inc.

Ox, you’re in an accounting or business program already. Great. But then what?

To get ahead in today’s business world, you need more than technical knowledge: you also

need solid management, communication, and interpersonal skills.

Consider becoming a CMA, a Certified Management Accountant. You'll develop these and

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Page 6 Thursday, February 27, 1997 gateway

Feature

ep

THE 1997 PURITY TEST:

Love it or hate it, you can’t help but take it

Compiled by Susan Sava and Scott Sharplin

NOTE: these questions apply to actions performed in one’s adult life (ie. when one is sexually aware). They are non-gender-specific and do not apply to any particular sexual preference or persuation.

1) So, have you had sex? (1 pt)

2) Are you straight? (1 pt) Ho- mosexual? (1 pt) Bisexual? (1 pt) Asexual? (1 pt) Hermaphroditic? (1 pt) Confused? (5 pts for honesty)

2) Have you experienced or given manual delights? (5 pts) Oral pleasures? (10 pts) Have you ever

performed oral sex on yourself? (12 pts) Do you know where a G-spot is? (10 pts) Do you think ‘rrroll up the rrrrrim to win’ means ‘to deflower a virgin? (10 pts)

3) Have you ever masturbated? (1 pt) At least five times in a 24-hr. period? (5 pts) While talking on the phone? (5 pts) While driving a mov- ing land vehicle? (10 pts) Fantasized while masturbating? (2 pts) About any of the following: Yourself? A prof? A cop? A minister, priest or rabbi? The pope? Animals? Extra- terrestrials? Uma Thurman? (2 pts each) But subtract 5 pts if you’ve

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fantasized about a close friend—I mean, come on, that’s just gross.

4) Have you ever: sculpted erotic obscene artworks out of food? (3 pts) Out of soap, wood, or any other inedible material? (5 pts)

5) Have you received or given anal sex? (2 pts) Have you ever fantasized about anal sex with Space Moose? (10,000 pts)

6) Have you ever cross-dressed? (8 pts) Have you ever attended a Drag show? (10 pts) Do you know who Eartha and Cricket are? (12 pts)

7) Have you ever: licked, breathed upon, sucked or nibbled some- one else’s ear? (1 pt) Some- one else’s fingers? (2 pts) Toes? (3 pts) Nipples? (5 pts) Armpits? (8 pts)

8) Have you ever: gone skinny dipping in mixed company? (5 pts) Bathed or showered with someone? (5 pts) Had sex in a shower, bath, swimming pool, hot tub or other body of water? (10 pts) With more than two people? (10 pts) Have you ever had sex in the Wave Pool at West Ed? (20 pts)

9) Have you ever: had sex with a virgin (besides yourself, dummy)?

(2 pts) Had sex with someone whose name you didn’t know at the time? (5 pts) And still don’t know? (8 pts) Had sex with someone whose face you never saw? (12 pts)

10) Have you ever practiced: sadism or masochism? (5 pts each)

PececceceevvnceceeeceveceeD

Domination or submission? (8 pts each) - Bestiality? (20 pts) Coprophilia (a sexual interest in ex- crement)? (15 pts) Frotteurism (mas- turbation by rubbing up against somebody)? (10 pts) Voyeurism or scoptophilia (watching sexual activ- ity surreptitiously or openly)? (10

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pts each) Necrophilia (it’s a dead art)? (20 pts)

11) Have you ever: watched a pornographic movie? (1 pt) In mixed company? (5 pts) Ina public viewing house or peep-show? (8 pts) Watched a pornographic movie with your parents? (10 pts)

12) Have you ever been in a threesome in any of the fol- lowing combinations: two girls and a guy? Two guys and a girl? Three girls? Three guys? Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt and you? (10 pts each)

13) Have you ever had sex witha person and his/her sib- ling? (15 pts) At the same time? (30 pts) Had sex with a person and his/her parent? (20 pts) At the same time? (50 pts)

14) Have you ever had sex twice in one day? (2 pts) For every additional time you’ve had sex in a single day, dou- ble the point value (so three times equals 4 pts, four times equals 8 pts, etc.) If each time you had sex, you were with a dif- ferent partner, double the total point value (so if you had sex with five different people in a 24-hour period, you get 36 pts)

15) Have you ever used any of the following for sexual purposes: ice? (2 pts) Melted wax? (5 pts) Pe- troleum jelly? (2 pts) Nutella? (5 pts) A strap-on dildo or male extension sheath? (5 pts) A double-sided dildo? (15 pts) Food? (8 pts) Ropes,

‘chains, or handcuffs? (10 pts) A col-

lar and/or leash? (12 pts) A leather fetish outfit? (12 pts) Diapers? (15 pts) Nipple clips? (15 pts—ouch)

16) Have you ever had sex: ina place of religion? (5 pts) In a land- based vehicle? (5 pts) On an ETS bus? (8 pts) In a water or air-based vehicle? (10 pts) In an airplane washroom? (12 pts) In an office or classroom? (10 pts) In a telephone booth, photo booth, elevator or any other enclosed and generally pub- lic space? (15 pts) In the great out- doors? (10 pts) Outside in Alberta in January? (20 pts)

17) Have you ever: talked dirty while having sex? (1 pt) Intention- ally made “animal noises” while having sex? (3 pts) Whispered “oink, oink, little piggy.” into some- one’s ear during sex? (4 pts) Dis- turbed other people by making ex- cessive noise while having sex? (5 pts) Deliberately? (8 pts)

18) Have you had sex: in the missionary position? (1 pt) Doggie style? (3 pts) Lotus flower? (5 pts) Sitting up? (5 pts) Standing up? (8 pts) Upside-down? (10 pts) Or the you-know-what position? (6.9 pts)

19) Have you ever: smoked marijuana? (1 pt) Taken cocaine? (3 pts) Mushrooms? (4 pts) Taken Ec- stasy? (5 pts)LSD? (5 pts) PCP or heroin? (8 pts each) Taken more than one of the above drugs at once? (10 pts) Had sex while under the influ- ence of any of the above drugs? (8 pts)

20) Have you ever been arrested for having sex in a public place? (5 pts) Committed indecent exposure? (5 pts) Committed breaking and entering? (5 pts) Been convicted of a felony? (10 pts) A misdemeanor? (5 pts) Have you ever been arrested for having anal sex in Georgia or having an erection in a public place in Arizona? (10 pts)

OF GREAT

]

TIME

qE | 5

~ This Tesdag I and a few hundred other fans were lucky enough to witness one of the best concerts of the year so far. After being absent from our fine city for 14 months, Our Lady Peace returned with a vengeance, and brought along a whole bunch of new songs from their latest album, Clumsy.

As we mounted the stairs up to Dinwoodie, I was surprised to hear that the first band had already started, as it was only 8:15. After quickly checking our coats we rushed inside to catch as much of the set as possible. I was pleased to find out that Our Lady Peace had brought along Change of Heart for the tour, and that] had only missed a couple of songs. The whole set was quite good, and a small mosh pit kept building in front of the stage as more and more people filtered in. The four guys from Ontario kept a steady pace, building the crowd up for OLP. I was particularly impressed by the large amount of variation in the songs, starting slow and gentle, with psychadelic sound effects echoing in the background, and steadily

tertainment

Entertainment Editor: Scott Sha

Our Lady Peace front man Raine Maida sings like the dickens at Dinwoodie’s Tuesday night.

)

building up and suddenly crashing in with the guitars. I had mixed feelings about the use of the keyboards and mixer; they really added to the slower songs, but for the faster ones only served as annoying background noise. It was obvious which band everyone had come to see though, with most people mill- ing about, and a few assholes even throwing stuff around and shouting at the band. I can only feel sorry for these people, they missed out on a really great and totally underesti- mated opening band.

At around 9:30, the lights dimmed once again, and people swarmed to the front of the stage. You could feel the energy rushing through the air, everyone holding their breath just to get a glimpse of the band. We were forced to wait even longer, as the lights stayed dim and the elusive silhouettes on the stage slowly and rhythmically poured through “Car Crash” in near darkness. Finally when the lights came up all the energy was released all at once, and the crowd exploded into a swirling mass of bodies. It was impossible not to be captivated by the electricity in the air, and I found myself plunging headlong into the heated mosh pit to revel in the sheer ec- stasy of the musical experience. Every song, whether it be the well known older ones such as “Starseed” and “Naveed” or the latest sin-

Dlin 492-7052

Jennifer Park

gle, “Superman’s Dead” came out as perfectly and powerful as the first time as you heard them. As I sat back and enjoyed the show, I realized that there wasn’t a single bad song, and they played almost everything from both albums. Raine Maida’s eyes beamed out mys- tically, drawing you into the songs even more deeply, while his voice fell and then rose to levels I never thought capable of a rock singer. The only time the smile of contentment left my face was when Raine described his inspi- ration for the song “Shaking,” about how he almost blew his friends head off while play- ing with what he thought was an unloaded gun. I was almost sick as many people in the crowd responded with cheers to what had been causing him nightmares for several months. Nightmares aside, the band kicked back into the music, keeping all the surfers above the chaotic mosh pit happy.

When the show finally ended, I was sur- prised to realise that the band had played for about and hour and a half. We were not to be disappointed, as the band returned for a lengthy encore, and the crowd exploded once again. When all was said and done, we wan- dered out of Dinwoodie as we came down from our musical high, desperately in need

(theo Buchinskas _

aun fi lm more satisfying than Eraser

|

E nee and Marisa’ Tomei slaying ; at The Princess

That old adage of “you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family” is the apparent basis for this film, which cov- ers everything from abuse to babysitting. Unhook the Stars covers some heavy and hardhitting stuff, yet still manages to squeeze in humour and light heartedness. It is a very effective film, well written, di- rected and acted. Though not as flashy as Space Jam nor as sultry as Showgirls, and it doesn’t have the budget of Eraser, but it’s the one you’d want to go and see.

Mildred Hawkis a widow with problems

of her own. Though she seems like an al- most stereotypical, eld- erly mother at the be ginning, we see soon enough a 19-year-old } daughter who “doesn’t } have to take this shit § anymore” moving out, dropping out, and just ¢ generally being a bitch a Yuppie, Joe Pesci wannabe son; and new neighbours, the kind o people you don’t wish § to admit to being * neighbours to. Monnica Warren is a working mother, the neighbour. Monica is not short of self-confidence or the ability to take care of

herself and quickly kicks er husband when he tarts slapping her a lit- le too hard. Still having & to go to work and take er kid to school, she

Mildred for a hand, which Mildred gives @without a second thought. Jake Loyde plays the part of little Jay ex- cellently, the spitting image ofa child from an arses abusive family. Throughout the film we see his and his mom’s (Monica) bond to his Mildred grow to the point where she is loved as family. The

goes next door to ask

return of Monica’s husband and a crush on Mildred by Big Tommy (Gerrard Depardieu) throw a wrench into the mix and add real personality and uniqueness to the film.

The one problem is in the amount that is covered. Director Cassavetes seems a lit- tle too concerned with substance and does not do justice to some of the hard hitters he flings into the film. His look into alcoholism is distracting at best, and the family relation- ships with Mildred, though effective, seem underplayed in some scenes.

In the end though, it all works out, and everybody’s happy, though Big Tommy dis- appears into nothing and the story book hap- pily ever after-ness of the movie left me a little unfulfilled.

Mark

Page 8 Thursday, February 27, 1997 gateway

SLEEPING BEAUTY IS MAGIC IN MOTION

very end, I was en- tranced with rich cos- tumes, beautiful staging and a cast of lively char- acters. The story of the Beauty was easily redis- covered through the eyes of John Meehan, RWB’s choreographer and Andre Lewis, the artistic director, and brought to life by the whole of the company’s dancers.

It is pure magic to see poised, graceful bod- ies sweeping over the stage carefully arranged in different and pleasing patterns. Add to it clas- sical music by Pyotr Tchaikovsky and confi- dent stage presence and the fairy tale becomes magnificent magic. The princess Aurora, a sweet, willowy prima ballerina was danced by Evelyn Hart. Slow but sure, the princess captivated her

Evelyn Hart and Olivier Wevers—dance fever!

The Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s Sleeping Beauty is a classic, full of heart and artistic exquisitness, right down to your pointed toes.

From the first rise of the curtain to the

suitors, and ultimately her noble prince (played well by Zhang Wei-Qiang). Twarting these two lovers was home grown John Kaminski, the evil Fairy Carabosse, bringing tyrannical and exuberant action to the stage.

A classical ballet includes dance repeti- tion, giving the audience an opportunity to catch all the movements. With a good dose of jétes and pirouettes, the RWB keeps on enter- taining audiences with professionalism and dedication, most notably in the well timed

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sequences and high energy per-

formances from

various characters. Olivier Wevers and Steven Hyde seem to surpass gravity, as Caroline Gruber, the good fairy, captures our hearts. Visually, the stage changes from a rich castle to an enchanted forest were a treat to see, and was especially enhanced with perfectly de- signed costumes.

The Sleeping Beauty is first and foremost a classical ballet, seducing people to enjoy swift

but soft movements that bow to an ideal of perfection in the name of something beauti- ful. For 145 minutes, the RWB portrayed both independent and ensemble sparkle. A love of strong muscle, long, soft body lines, and seem- ingly effortless lifts and turns makes the bal- let a memorable experience.

G

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Tickets only $15+service charge On Sale Friday, Feb 28th at all Ticketmaster outlets (charge by phone 451-8000) and Campus Info Booths

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gateway Thursday, February 27, 1997 Page 9

NOT YOUR NORMAL NOIR

(FILM ree

directed by David back tarring Bill Pullman and Patricia Arqu

Lost Highway is a trip only David Lynch would or could take you on. It is a dark, dis- turbing and thoroughly wonderful film, which once again proves Lynch is the undis- puted master of the inde- pendent film genre. After a long hiatus he has re- turned with a movie which should be widely hailed by those unafflicted with Star Wars fever.

Lost Highway begins and ends with the phrase “Dick Laurent is dead.” This is told to Fred (Bill Pullman) in the opening tale, who is ajazz musician married to Renee (Patricia Arquette), whom he believes is cheating on him. To complicate their lives, they begin to receive videotapes on their doorstep. Every- day the tapes get longer. The first tape shows only a pan of the outside of their house; the second has the person coming into the house; the third has the person standing over their sleeping forms. At a party Fred meets the friend of Dick Laurent, the Strange Man (a very creepy Robert Blake), who with nothing more than a cellular phone creates one of the spookiest scenes ever ina movie. As the story moves on (with things I do not wish to give away), Fred is arrested for the mur- der of his wife and sent to prison. It is here that Lost Highway really moves into Lynchland.

One morning the guards look into Fred’s cell and it is occupied by Pete (Balthazar Getty). As he has no reason to be there, and me nebad yc can

explain his appearance, he is released. Pete cannot remember what transpired that night, and a lot of the second story is spent with his attempting to figure out what happened. Pete works in a garage and is the mechanic to Mr. Eddy (Robert Loggia), who also happens to be Dick Laurent. As the noir aspect of this story takes over, of course the femme fatale must be introduced. She comes in the form of Alice, the girlfriend of Mr. Eddy, (also played by Patricia Arquette), who begins a tor- rid affair with Pete. As I said the ending is elliptical, and turns into the beginning of the movie in a way which I f will not reveal. The how nd why of the body switch i between Fred and Pete and whether or not Renee and Alice are the same person are left to the viewer to mull over, and it is this type of mystery which typifies a Lynch film.

Beyond the subject matter of Lost High- way, it is the tempo, tone and mood which set it apart from normal Hollywood tripe. It may take a while to get used to the slower pace, but it makes it more worthwhile when the strangeness kicks in. The ominous and creepy

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tone of the film is complemented by the dark color palette of the backgrounds. The film plays the noir style to the hilt. Everything shimmers and shines against the opulent colors Lynch fills his world with. All of the clothes and sets are timeless, though vaguely art deco styled. Again, this is a normal Lynchian element, one of many he inserts into Lost Highway. The other usual suspects are here as well: there are scenes of fire, back- wards events, red curtains, and a cameo from a Twin Peaks actor. Also important is the sound and music in the film, which is brilliant, es- pecially the music of Angelo Badalamenti. All of the performances in Highway are good, especially Balthazar Getty as Pete, and Robert Loggia as Mr. Eddy. The only weak spot is Patricia Arquette. While she is great in

is fantastic as the Strange Man, playing what could be a laughable role dead straight.

The script, by Lynch and novelist Barry Gifford, who wrote Wild At Heart, is tight and loose at the same time. It plays with time and perception in a new way in films, and leaves many explanations to the viewer’s imagination. It is filled with many great mi- nor characters though, and chock full of black humour and sex. The two converging stories are very much in Gifford’s narrative style, and when mutated by Lynch’s bizarre eye for detail and story twists it becomes much more than a routine noir style movie. It becomes a story which will dazzle and confuse.

the role of Alice, a blond trailer trash femme fatale, she is con- strained by the

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Sports Editor: Wade Tymchak 492-5068

Countdown to Cowtown

Bears continue playoff drive with semi-final series in Calgary

by Wade Tymchak

They have the two best | offences in the league, they have |

the two best defences in the league,

they have the two best goaltenders in the league, and they have the }

two best records in the league, yet this is only the Canada West semi- final.

“It makes it difficult to be physical because there’s

more room to get away and hide.”

— Bears head coach Rob Daum on how an Olympic sized ice surface changes a game

This weekend the University of Alberta Golden Bears hockey

team heads down Highway 2 to ~ :

take on the University of Calgary Dinosaurs in what is believed by many to be the series of the year. “Whenever you play Calgary it’s a big series, obviously, [between] probably two of the best teams in western Canada if not all of Canada,” said Bears assistant captain Mike Thompson. “It’s going to be a good battle, fierce.” The series promises to display the fire, passion, and drama of great playoff series. The Bears are 1-2-1 against Calgary this year, but

Bears to

by Brandice Shostak

Bring it on, boys, they’re ready for you.

The University of Alberta Golden Bears basketball team is ready and waiting to take on the University of Lethbridge Pronghorns as Canada West playoffs begin this weekend here at the U of A.

“The guys finally realized what it takes to win,” said Golden Bears captain Jeff Collier.

Now that they know what it takes, all they have to do is execute.

“We definitely have to concentrate on defence. Last weekend the key to winning was keeping the intensity up on defence. Tough, intensive defence, everything starts from there,” said U of A guard Vern Gerhardt.

Last weekend against Victoria

Jennifer Park

Bears goaltender Dale Masson and the rest of the Golden Bears stonewalled Lethbridge last weekend and they plan to do it to Calgary this weekend.

the Bears goals for-and-against record in those four games was 11- 14 in the Dinos favor. The regular season was close and with the stakes raised in the playoffs this series will be even closer, thus defence and goaltending will be key.

“For us to be successful Dale Masson has to be our best player,”

said Bears head coach Rob Daum. “| think defensively we've got to neutralize them, we can’t let them fly the zone,” said Bears goaltender Dale Masson. “They generate a lot of offence off the rush . we have to take away the middle from their defencemen.” However, playing defence will prove difficult in Father David

clash with ’Horns

the Bears proved that they are capable of shutting down some of the top scorers in Canada West, and will need to do so again as Lethbridge’s Barnaby Craddock is averaging 22.7 points-per-game.

“They are a pretty all-round good team, they’ve got a lot of weapons. We have to slow down Barnaby Craddock, if he goes off we've got problems,” said U of A post Ryan Dunkley.

If the Bears come out as strongly as they did against Victoria last weekend, Craddock and the ‘Horns won’t have a chance.

“If we play like we did last weekend there is no one in the country who can beat us,” said Collier.

However, Canada West is arguably the toughest conference

in the country, and even the lower ranked teams are good in comparison with the rest of the league.

“We’re not in the east, we always have to be prepared. In any other conference, U of L would be one of the best teams,” Collier said.

Unfortunately for the Pronghorns, the Golden Bears have their eyes on the big prize, and aren’t about to let anyone or anything get in the way of another national championship.

“If we lost this weekend we would be done and that’s motivation enough right there,” said Dunkley.

Confident, determined, and talented, look for the Golden Bears to put on a great show this weekend against the ‘Horns.

’

r for men

Around Athietics...

Bauer Arena considering the vast dimensions. Father David Bauer is an Olympic size ice surface and standing at center ice is like standing in the middle of Saskatchewan... you can see for eternity. The vastness of the Bauer Arena allows for more skating and finnesse and less physical play.

physical because there’s more room to get away and hide,” said Daum. “It’s amore wide open game ... but we have the type of team that can play that style as well because our big guys aren’t plodders, they can skate and they can play.”

“T think it'll benefit us just as much as it helps them out. We got

What: Hockey Semi-Finals Who: Bears vs Dinos When: Friday, Saturday, Sunday if necessary Where: Father David Bauer

Arena in Calgary Time: 7:00 pm Radio: CJSR every game (pre- game @ 6:30 pm, game @ 7:00 pm)

some guys who can skate on this team,” added Thompson.

The Bears biggest advantage is that they’ve already played a playoff series and faced the risk of having their season crushed and demolished against Lethbridge. Calgary, has also been sitting at home for two weeks.

“{The loss to Lethbridge] put our backs against the wall and the more opportunities you have to face those situations and succeed the better off you'll be the next time it rolls around,” said Daum.

It may be the semi-finals, but it’s

“It makes it difficult to be certainly not semi-important.

2 Wrestling 2 Men: sending Paul Nunes (61 kg) ranked 6th 2 in the country and Ron Odagaki (52 kg) ranked 2] 4th in the country to the CIAU championships | this weekend in Hamilton

: Women (Demonstration Event): sending 1 Julie Harris (51 kg), Sandra Bandura (57 kg), j and Tammy Pierson (65 kg) to the inaugral CIAU championships in Hamilton

Hockey

Goaltender Dale Masson (1st Team), defenceman Trevor Sherban (2nd Team, and Mike Jickling (2nd Team) were named to the a CWUAA AIl-S

Page 12 Thursday, February 27, 1997 gateway

Calgary vs Alberta, Doan vs Simon

by Jon Jarvis

After finishing off their most successful season in 20 years, the University of Alberta Pandas basketball team is primed, pumped, and ready for the second season... the playoffs.

After years of waiting for the deep talent pool to mature, the Pandas came into their own this year missing the top spot in the Canada West by a mere field goal.

The University of Victoria is still on top of the Canada West, but the Pandas have struck fear

in the hearts of the long time class of the Canada West and finished with a respectable 15-5 record, good enough for second place.

The Pandas now have the benefit of playing host to the first round of the playoffs against the University of Calgary Dinosaurs.

“I’m really excited to play this weekend,” said fifth-year Panda Maeve Maguire, “because it’s my last home game. To win our first playoff series would be a great way to go out.”

The Pandas are hungry to

advance, and are even more excited to get the chance to avenge a Dinos team that swept them last time they met.

“When we were swept by Calgary three weeks ago we had just come off two relatively relaxed series,” said Maguire, “and our caliber of play wasn’t where it should have been.”

The Pandas were not exactly at their best when being swept three weeks ago, committing an astronomical 38 turnovers in one of their losses. Something they are sure won't be repeated in the

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playoffs.

“We'll beat them if we take care of the ball,” said Pandas rookie Cathy Butlin, “our bench is way deeper and we can run them.”

The feature match-up of the weekend has the two big posts Leighann Doan of the Dinos and Jackie Simon of the Pandas going head to head. Doan was second in the Canada West in scoring with 17.1 points per game, while Simon was third, averaging 16.6 points per game.

Beyond the match-up, the

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management

Pandas have a major advantage in their depth. Any five players head coach Trix Baker puts on the floor can hold their own, while Calgary has had trouble when going past their starting five.

“We can’t just count on one person stepping up, it has to be a team effort,” said Butlin, “and we shouldn’t put excess pressure on ourselves to win. We’re better than them and we should beat them.”

The Pandas start their quest for the Canada West title this Friday at Varsity Gym.

Dates to Remember

Fri, Feb. 28: Sports Meetiug in room 0-10 of SUB @ 2:00 p.m.

Weds, March 5: General staff meeting to select line editor selection committee, room 0-10 SUB @ 4:00 p.m.

Thurs, March 6: Wayne Moriarty, Sports Editor from the Edmonton Journal talking @ News/Sports Meeting in room 0-10 of SUB @ 4:00 p.m

Mon, March 10: deadline for applications for line editors, room 0-10 of SUB @ 5:00 p.m.

CWUAA Playoff Results (West Division Semi-Final) Feb; 21: Alberta—7(1),Leth—1(0) Feb. 22: Leth—6(1),Alberta—4(1) Feb. 23: Alberta—7(0),Leth—0(0) (East Division Semi-Final) Feb. 21: Manitoba—6(1),Regina—3(0) Feb. 22: Manitoba—4(2),Regina—0(0)

CWUAA Playoff Schedule (West Division Final) Feb. 28: Alberta @ Calgary March 1: Alberta @ Calgary March 2: (If Necessary) Alberta @ Calgary (East Division Final) Feb. 28: Manitoba @ Saskatchewan March 1: Manitoba @ Saskatchewan March 2: (If Necessary) Manitoba @ Saskatchewan CWUAA Playoff Scoring Leaders G FEsposito(UA) 2 M.Jickling(UA) 2 M.Thompson(UA)1 J.King(UM) J.Barnes(UA) P.Strand(UA) T.Sherban(UA) D.Tiltgen(UA) R.Hewson(UA) R.Smith(UM) D.Zukiwsky(UA) 2 S.Lindsay(UA) 2 S.O’Rourke(UL) 2 S.Stephenson(UM)1 CIAU Rankings 1JUQTR(2) 2)Alberta(1)

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NwWwWorrH NEE RR CORWWUWRWWD

3)Calgary(3) 4)Acadia(4) 5)Guelph(5)

6)New Brunswick(6) 7)Saskatchewan(8) 8)Dalhousie(NR) 9)Manitoba(10) 10)Waterloo(9)

CWUAA Playoff Results

(Final)

Feb. 22: Saskatchewan—3,Alberta—2 Feb. 23: Alberta—3,Saskatchewan—1 Feb. 24: Alberta—3,Saskatchewan—1

CWUA Results (Final)

Feb. 22:

Alberta—3, UBC—2

Feb. 23:

Alberta—3, UBC—0

UVic 15-530 UofA 14 6 28 UofL Lbs O22 UBC T.92922, UofC 7 wioeet UofS 2 18 4 Results Feb. 21: (CWUAA)

Alberta—56, Victoria—51 Calgary—110,Sask—63 Lethbridge—81,UBC—77 Feb. 22:

(CWUAA)

Alberta—72, Victoria—58 Calgary—93,Sask—85 Lethbridge—87,UBC—79

CWUAA Playoff Schedule

(Semi-Finals) Feb. 28: Lethbridge @ Alberta UBC @ Victoria March 1: Lethbridge @ Alberta UBC @ Victoria March 2: (If Necessary) Lethbridge @ Alberta UBC @ Victoria

Scoring Leaders

GP PtsAvg

N.Sekhon(UC) 20 497 24.9 BCraddock(UL) 20 453 22.7 E.Hinrichsen(UVic)20 401 20.1 W.Harris(US) 20 400 20.0 M.Schmidt(UA) 20 379 19.0 C.Mepham(UBC) 6 100 16.7 K.Russell(UC) 6 9315.5 P.Cannon(UVic) 20 305 15.3 A.Gibb(UC) 15 228 15.2 G.Cole(UBC) 20 272 13.6

CIAU Rankings 1)McMaster(2) 2)Laurentian(1) 3Brandon(5) 4)Victoria(3) 5)St. Francis Xavier(4) 6)York(9) 7)Western Ontario(7) 8)Alberta(NR) 9)Regina(NR) 10)Memorial(NR)

W L Pts UVic h7e*S sot: UofA 15:-5 30 UofC iB e775 UBC 8 12 16 Leth 6 14 12 UofS 1 19s 2:

Results

Feb. 21: (CWUAA)

Alberta—62, Victoria—49 Calgary—87,Sask—59

Feb. 22: (CWUAA)

Victoria—73,Alberta—72

Calgary—85,Sask—59

UBC—59,Lethbrid ge—53 CWUAA Playoff Schedule

(Semi-Finals)

Feb. 28:

Calgary @ Alberta UBC @ Victoria March 1:

Calgary @ Alberta UBC @ Victoria March 2:

(If Necessary) Calgary @ Alberta UBC @ Victoria

Scoring Leaders

UBC—65,Lethbridge—61

mA AW Cen fie r 1 tes a4 ~~

gateway Thursday, February 27, 1997 Page 13

Stats, etc...

D.Hubbard(UL) 19 251 13.2 Alberta 85

R.Burns(UA) 19 225 11.8 Calgary 37.5 E/McAlister(UC) 20 236 11.8 UBC 36.5 A.Fairbrother(US)20 196 9.8 Victoria 11 M.Dalziel(UVic) 20194 9.7 Lethbridge 0 CIAU Rankings Men’s Team Standings 1)Western Ontario(1) Pts. 2)Toronto(2) Saskatchewan 86 3)Regina(4) Calgary 79 4)McGill(3) Manitoba 78° 5)Manitoba(5) UBC 65 6)Victoria(6) Alberta 62 7)Concordia(8) Victoria 19 8)Laurentian(7) Lethbridge 11 9)York(9) 10)Alberta(NR) Just think...if you were to

write for the Gateway, you could control what people read. Cool, huh? Mind

CWUAA Championships

LKoop(UVic) <a to Results control, that's what it's all KOO 1c a SSeS - 3 LDoan(UC) 30 341 171 Women’s Team Standings about, man. Friday 2:00. J.Simon(UA) 20 331 16.6 Pts.

L.Esmail(UBC) 20274 13.7 Saskatchewan 116

K.Grant(US) 20 266 13.3 Manitoba 113

OUT OF CONTROL?

You can always talk to us. We'll help you take control.

Dentistry is booking appointments for:

lo ®

Teeth Cleaning 492-4458

24 Hour Distress Line

482-HELP 4357)

Basketball Playoffs!!

Feb 28, Mar 1 & 2

™

Students only $5!

vs Calgary 62 SO DIM issisicoceson

vs Lethbridge » ; 1 5 Din (3pm Sun if necessary)

comics

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gateway Thursday, February 27, 1997 Page 15

Diego’s and Lee’s

But without words there's no story.

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There is a staff meeting on Wednesday, March 5 at 4:00 to pick us a committee. All contributors are invited to attend and vote. This includes writers, photo volunteers, cartoonists and other assorted unpaid labour. If you don’t come, you wouldn’t be there and that would be sad.

Bound Editions from last year are in. Come get ’um.

Please bring in this ad for our Spring Clean-up Special Haircut, Shampoo and Blowdry

$7.95

Regular price $9.30 (Expires March 31, 1997)

10807 -82 AVE 413-8855

4115 -106 ST 431-0118

Die Hard

Daytona

Manxx TT Virtua Fighter 3 Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey Winding Heat

Lower Level SUB

classifieds

Advertising: Sandra Horrigan 492-4241

WANTED

Wanted: Levi Lover's. Experienced Levi's $9.95 and up. Corner of Fort Rd. and 66 St. Phone: 413-9296.

Gain managing experience + great earning power. Due West Student Painting is now accepting applications 1-800-585- 8666

JOB OPPORTUNITY. L’Express is looking for individuals with min. one year exp. in food industry for food prep, cashier $6.36/hr. Variable shifts, start immediately. Pls. apply to George, LExpress Manager, Main Floor SUB Mon - Fri, 9:00 - 2:00

* we ride & race what we sell

bring in this ad & get 10% off regular-priced parts & accessories

439-4599 10008-82 ave.

RECEPTIONIST. Part time position available, for enthusiastic, outgoing, individuals. Shifts available Monday to Friday 4:30 to 9:00 p.m. and Saturday 8:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.. Interested candidates please forward resumes to: Southpark Pontiac Buick Cadillac GMC Ltd., 10615 - 82 Ave, Edmonton, Ab, T6E 2A6

TRAVEL—TEACH ENGLISH. The Canadian Global TESOL Training Institute offers in Edmonton a 1 wk (Ap. 25-29) eve/ weekend intensive course to certify you as a Teacher of English (TESOL). 1,000’s of overseas jobs avail NOW. Free info pack (403) 438-5704.

Cinemark Movies 12. Entry Level Management Position. Progress with company please apply with resume to 5074 - 130 Avenue.

SUMMER JOBS. Applications are now being accepted for summer jobs on cruise ships, airlines, and resorts. No experience necessary. For more information send $2 and self-addressed stamped envelope to: World Wide Travel Club, 6021 Yonge Street, Suite 1040, Toronto, Ontario M2M 3W2.

Looking for instructional experience, one-to-one or with small groups? The Edmonton YMCA Enterprise Centre has volunteer opportunities for individuals as Workshop Leaders, Instructional Aides, or Tutors in stay-in-school and tutoring programs for youth. 22 hours of training is provided. We ask a 6 month commitment of 2-3 hours a week. Daytime volunteers (Eve/ wkd available too). Call 429-1991, ask for Jim.

Professional market research firm is seeking part-time telephone surveyors. Excellent research experience for students interested in business and social sciences. No sales involved. Hours congruent with students’ schedules. Starting wage is $7.00/ hr. with regular wage increases. Office located downtown on L.R.T. route. Please call 944-1169 or mail resume to: Suite 1483, T.D. Tower, Edmonton Centre, Edmonton, Ab. T5J_ 221.

FOR RENT

SERVICES

9731-105 Street (Ashbury Place). Quiet, adult building downtown. 1 blk from Legislature bldg. Furnished & Non- furnished Suites. Near amenities. Reasonable rents. 429-0898, 426-1170.

LE MERCHAND TOWER 2060 sq ft. deluxe 2-3 bdrm condo apartment. Jacuzzi tub, double under parking, 15 floor view,. REDUCES $40,000. Immediate trade of home possible. Ron Morritt, SUTTON RE 459-8211, 458-9399.

Room & Board looking for female, West End location $300.00/ month. Phone & leave message 481-0230.

Beautiful New House 1800 sq. ft., 145st/95ave f. furnished, cable (1-46), locking rooms, $225 - 310 everything Sheila 454-6898 / 453-2651 On Parle Francais!

Beautiful & Bright Non-Smoking 1 or 2 bedroom suite - unfurnished. #350.00- 450.00/ month. 10 mins from University and 10 mins from Faculte St. Jean. Call Lee at 439-7018.

FOR SALE

20.5 inch Marin Eldrige Grade Mountain Bike. Good Condition. $660. Phone 433-9861.

Three U2 Tickets. 2nd Show —- 11th row floor. 472-1085

Rolling Stone Magazine for 175 issues 1974-81 $100. 460-5449

Computer Trouble? Don’t put up with it! Will do hardware and software optimization and repairs for computers running MS-DOS, Windows 3.X and Windows95. Tune-Ups also available. Will publish your Internet web pages and/or set you up with an Internet account with free webspace. Discount prices. Call fellow student David at 460-4472 for info.

“Living a Full Life”. Learn how your own life experiences are what help you move ahead spiritually. ECK Worship Service. Sun. Mar. 2 10-11 a.m. Edmonton ECKANKAR Center, 210, 10110 82 Ave. Phone 431-0739.

Fast Word Processing (Laser printed) & Low-price Black/Colour Photocopying Services. Free campus pick-up orders >$50. SURE PRINT & COPY CENTRE, 3428-99 St, 413-8299,

Tutoring for University exams and essays. Call Campus Tutors at Solomon Learning Institute #307 Campus Tower. 431- 1515 after hours 917-0216.

WORD WORKS: Word processing (A.P.A; specialist), grammatical proofreading, editing. Experienced writer near campus. Call Nathan after 12:00 (noon): 433-0741.

Sculptured Nails, Acrylic, Gel, Tips. $25.00 for new application & fills. Leave message @ 435-3829.

Word Processing - fast, accwrate & reliable. Laser printing. 1 1/2 blocks off campus. $1.50/dbl-spaced page, $2..50/ sngl-spaced page. Wilf 432-0430.

CAMPUS ADVENT: Join us in bible study and Christian Fellowship Thursday from 6:00 - 7:00 p.m. Interfaith Chapel, HUB Mall (ground level, just below A&W) For info, contact camadv@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca or http:/ / www.ualberta.ca/~camadv

Job search— Call us and ask how we can market your resume to thousands of employers. Summer jobs also available. 413- 6045 or 413-7066 C.E.N. 6019-103A Street Edm T6H 2)7.

TUTORING for students of engineering or physics. Call 439-1045.

PERSONALS

**EDM’S COOLEST PARTY LINE** DIAL: 44-PARTY. Ads * Jokes * Stories * & More. 18+ **** FREE CALL!!!**** 24 hrs. Women Free * Men From .10$/Min.!!!

LOST & FOUND

Lost: One beige Sony 3.5” computer disk with Ashley O’Kurley written on it in pencil. It was lost in Tory B-39 during the last term. Please call 456-3055 or 796-3508. Reward offered.

Lost: Large square scarf, red & black check pattern, between V-wing & CAB, middle of January. Sentimental value. Reward. 439-8188.

three lines free

brought to you by: Silhouette and the Shadow

SU PRINT

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For all your photocopying needs phone

492-3407

LOWER LEVEL SUB

Additional charges apply to rush jobs

03-32")

e Watch for slushes

Happy Birthday Susan! Hope you heard B- day wishes on Chinese radio... from Wah- Jai, Ma-Ying-Hoong, Mui-gwai and friends. The Greasy Polish Sausage fucked a $20 CRACK WHORE last summer in NYC.

Michelle: On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a perfect 40! Love, RK

Did you know that in California it's legal to fuck your cat if it's over 30 lbs? Spread ‘em Fluffy!

My Brown Beauty — You looked so gorgeous on Saturday. Sorry I didn't know you were taken. Shy Brown Guy

Jon: Did you ever figure out who Miss Anonymous was? I think you know...

To the girl who found my pencil case by TL B 1 and called me on Fri Feb 14": please drop it off at Campus Security - Dawn

To the person who took my size 9 white&blue Nikes— I hope your feet rot & fall off - you f***er

Tiny Hurtin Tim; Let's travel down the Lost Highway and run over Billy C.! Jo bob Renton, I'll trade you your girlfriend for one last hit! Sick boy

Housing Unit Building name officially changed to Central Housing Unit Building Blonde, black backpack, Eng.101 mwr 12:00 GO FOR JOSH!!!

Gail - Happy birthday!!! Don't forget to find a crib board to bring to Neighbour's

To Peter P.: We're all cute. Don't be a cow- ard, be more specific! Patiently, Molly Mor- mon

To PouiSci 221 hottie with recent haircut(s), like it both ways. Trying to catch a smile, but it's difficult from the rear... shy brunette Happy 227 BD Tony! I'm sure glad you

“TRULY have what you deserve! I wouldn't

want things any other way. Love Tosh XO

Did you know that Johnny Cash is now 65 years old? He rocks! —Silhouette popsicle sticked in Cab - 3:30 Mon— do not feel alone, there will be others. SHM

Jen—I thought I might have lost you forever. I take solace in the fact that I haven't. I thank you. —Neil

PI BETA PHI Campus Rec. hockey champs. Rah Rah Pi Phi

TMJ-— We hope this Bday will be even bet- ter since you will be spending it with your "Groupees" AP, KP et. al.

To the boy who likes cherries: Want my notes? Why not get undressed to get un- stressed. From the Banana Peeler

To the person who returned my wallet to Sus Info Desk on Friday. Thankyou —Poor Student

G.B— Dante's Peak ain't nearly as hot as you. KTL— If you like six nine, then you're mine all mine. Devante

I was hit by a car. So Thad no TLFs for a month. I'm back. HBK#2

To the Avalanche Crew of Revelstoke! How was the Trip back? Steph

S.L. As-tu eu du plaisir en fin be semaine? N.V.

Brit Pop girl, take the pizza and run!!!-love raver spice

Experienced Lover: My heart goes flip-flop for your flap-jacks. I wish I was maple syrup so I could be poured all over you! Kayko

Where is LW hiding you, LY? Inquiring styler

Atrium Kitten: Ts it just springtime, or do you look fine to me lately? -Blonde Dirty Mouse (not Dirty Blonde)

AR, LH, WM: You're not a real fan unless you go twice! Countdown 108/109. AH Sorry Curious guys, I'm already taken! From: Lil

4th year Education blonde, we met at Squires 3 wks ago. You're awesome ~J

Christine- I don't have a Mustang, but i'd

still like to see a movie with you sometime

—Interested

Garnet: CMEEEER!!

To the oriental women on campus:

KiKAtawasisiWAN isKwewaK pace, you arein

ble! -OWT

hockey-boy, I'll play one on one with you

anytime. XOXO wendy

Out comes the evil... -The Shadow

much trou-

C9CBICICICIC

Ladés

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C9C9C9C9C9C

The University of Alberta Students' Union Campus Link

February 25, 1997

Part of my work this year on the University Senate involved research- = ing the job prospects of University graduates. As part of that process, I a have gathered information from nearly 400 Canadian employers in the

public and private sectors. Summary results were printed in this space i i several months ago. What follows is a sector-by-sector comparison

tox [OAs indian aneine Average

ontite

which, while not completely scientific or prescriptive, may give univer-

sity students examples of the types of skills they should work to de-

velop and highlight as they make the transition from school to work.

This information was solicited from employers by presenting them with a list of skills or traits, and asking which they considered as vital or prerequisite for employment with their firm. The employers were al- Gs lowed to select as few or as many criteria as they wished. On all graphs, the individual sector scores are shown in bars, while the line represents

the average scores across all sectors.

If you have any questions about this information, I can be reached days ie at 2-900 SUB, at 492-4236 or at <vpexternal@pybus.su.ualberta.ca>.

Cheers.

Hoops

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Accounting and Legal Services vs. All Industries

Thursday February 27, 1997

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OUTreach

A diverse group of lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and the straight but

not narrow, united by our belief in equal rights for everyone. Participate, or just sit in, on one of our meetings, dances, or socials. We cover a range of discussion groups, political advo- cacy, social activities, and films. OUTreach is here to encour- age queer students in leaning more about their community and how to make it suit their needs as well as meeting others and having a good time doing so. Right now we are preparing for Bisexual Gay Lesbian Awareness Days which will include speakers, a supplement in the gateway, a dance, and our ever popular kissing booth. The dance takes place March 15 in RATT and is called Queers At The Top. Come on out!

We meet every Monday at 5 pm. in the Heritage Lounge of Athabasca Hall. The last Monday of every month we watch a

movie in the Function Room, in the basement of SUB.

For a good time, and a recorded message, call 988-4166

or check out our web page at http://www.ualberta.ca/

~outreach

partnerships.

Maragement.

i at & researchers...from

Fo eahimepts te ¢ ercialization... Sa ste Be £ ; ideas and nmovation for a better

Research excellence at the U of A wait makes sense.

SEASA

SEASA thanks all those who have participated in our Buffet last Saturday. The event was a great success. I’m sure all will agree

that it was wellworth your money. I mean think of all the inter-

national food that you’d enjoy. All the sweat and blood that we

have put in!!!

LOOK FORWARD TO MORE OF THESE IN THE FUTURE!!

U OF A RODEO CLUB

Hey! Got 8 seconds?! If you do then pull your hats down tight and shine up those boots. The U of A rodeo club is hosting our very own rodeo March 1st and 2nd in Thorsby Alberta! Thorsby is only 1 hour south west of the city. Come on out and cheer on the cowboys and cowgirls or just join them Saturday night here in

the city at Cowboys! You can get your tickets there or you can call Dana Torrie at 434-9565! SEE YA THERE!!

4.

University Student Services Centre 2nd Floor SUB

Open House Tuesday, March 18 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Ribbons, tours prizes. Refreshments available.

University of Alberta

QS Student Services

Campus Link

The Baha’i Faith i University of Alberta Debate Society

Okay, everybody, the year is draw-

The Baha’i Faith is the newest and second most widespread of the world’s independ- ent religions. It was founded in Persia over a hundred years ago by Baha’u’llah, when He declared His mission as the spiritual suc- cessor to the founders of the great religions of the past. He came to reintroduce God’s purpose for humankind for today and brought laws and teachings to bring together all the races, nations, and faiths in a peace- ful and morally sound worldwide commu- nity. Some principles which will aid in unit-

ing the world include:

-the oneness of God, of humankind, and of religion

-the agreement of religion with science and reason

-the equality of men and women

-the abolition of prejudice of all kinds

-universal compulsory education

-the removal of extreme poverty

and wealth

-a federal system of world government

-an international auxiliary language

-world peace based on justice

The Association for Baha’i Studies is open to all staff and students of any religious background who believe in these principles and want to explore their applications in our

society.

For further information on our Campus Association or on the Baha’i Faith, look for our booth in SUB(Tuesdays) or e-mail us (mderakhs@gpu-srv.ualberta.ca).

For Edmonton Baha’i Community events, see the Saturday Religion section of the Edmonton Journal or phone the

Baha’i Centre at 479-8770.

“ God grant that the light of unity may en-

velop the whole earth “

ing to a close, but make no mistake, it will end, not with a whimper but with a bang. The Debate Society will be sending seven teams at least to the Western Canadian Championship in Calgary (more if you sign up!!) and three to the National Cham- pionship at Dalhousie in Nova Scotia.

We will also be conducting two of the three SU candidates’ forums in early March, throwing parties, doing mock trials, table topics, thirty-on-ones, and much much more.

So, if you would like to come out and meet some of the great people in this society, there is no better time than now!! Wednesday. 5pm. HC2-11.

See you there. Grant Yiu, President

University of Alberta Debate Society

http://www.ualberta.ca/~debate

INTERFRATERNITY COUNCIL

The Interfraternity Council (IFC) is an organization dedicated to promoting and enhancing the lives of male frater- nity members at the U of A. IFC is composed of nine member chapters and acts as a body where ideas and concerns relating to the Greek system can be raised. IFC is also mandated to assist the chapters in recruitment throughout the year. IFC events include the spring hockey tournament, Greek God & Goddess, and the year end President’s reception.

If you have any questions or would like to get more information on fraternities call our office at 492-9905 or e-mail Doug McLean at mcleand@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca

THE CAMPUS FOOD

BANK HAS MOVED. IT IS NOW LOCATED IN 040J SUB. DONATIONS AND VOLUNTEERS

ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!

492-8677

Bachelor of Fine Art and

Bachelor of Design Graduation Society

The Bachelor of Fine Art and Bach- elor of Design Graduation Society will be holding our second Silent Art Auction on Thursday, March 13, 1997 on the third floor of the Fine Arts Building from 7 - 10pm. Student and Professional works in all artistic media will be up for bidding and food and beverages will be served. All proceeds from the show will help the 1997 BFA and BDes grads create a catalogue of their artwork and create two graduating shows held in the FAB Gallery in April and May. Raffle tickets will be sold for an Arthur Zajdler intaglio print (framed) with the winning ticket to be drawn at 8:00pm that same night! Support artistic culture at the Univer- sity!!!

Shara Rosko, President 1997 BFA/BDes Grad Society

January 30, 1997

Page

Student Financial Aid & Information Centre

Grant funding for Student Groups

The next session of Student Union

ib

rector of Student Group Services to discuss whether you may

Grant allocations will take place the third

week of March. If you are a registered Stu-

dent Group and are holding an event or at- tending a conference that requires a little

extra funding, please call Shelley Frost, Di-

be eligible for a grant from your Student’s Union.

APPLICATION DEADLINE IS THURSDAY MARCH 13th AT 4 PM. Please note that this will be the last session for this school year so if your project falls anytime between April and the end of July, Call 492-9789 or e-mail clubs@pybus.su.ualberta.ca for details. The office of Student Group Services is located in Room 040V Lower level SUB. Application forms are available on

the bulletin board outside the office door.

World University Service of Canada University of Alberta Local Committee

World University Services of Canada was founded in 1939 and incorpo- rated in 1957, giving it over five decades of experience in human resource development as a non-profit, non-governmental organization. Among the many programs offered by WUSC are those of community development, refugee sponsorship, and educational exchanges and symposiums at home and abroad. There are local committees at univer-

sity and college campuses all across Canada.

WUSC is currently celebrating its 50th International Seminar and we are honoured to be the only institution to have three delegates participating in the 1997 Peru seminar. WUSC boasts prominent Alumni including Pierre Trudeau and the President of the U of A, Dr. Rod Fraser.

The U of Alocal committee currently sponsors three refugee students this semester and works towards raising awareness of international issues. If you are interested in International Development and involve- ment opportunities here and abroad please call Craig Carbol at 462 - 4329 or Vlad Gomez at 430 - 8727.

e-mail - ccarbol@gpu... , vgomez@gpu... or look at the

international web site at http://www.wusc.ca

The access fund board has recently completed the selection process for this semester 243 students will

be receiving bursaries totalling $211,004.00 AU of ASTUDENTS' UNION INITIATIVE

HOW WILL I KNOW IF I RECEIVED A BURSARY? Students will be notified by mail or e-mail beginning February 28, 1997

IS THERE AN APPEAL PROCESS?

Students who wish to appeal the decision should first make an appointment to see the Access Fund Coordinator during the week of March 17-21. Appeals must be submitted in writing (to the Access Fund Board, c/o 2-900 SUB) before 5:00 pm., Friday, March 21, 1997.

WHER CAN T GET MORE INFORMATION?

Stop by any info desk or the Students' Union office to pick up a brochure or check out our website at www.su.ualberta.ca/ser/accessfund.

We verify every application to insure that your money goes. to those who need it most. Are your aware of misuse of the fund? Please call the Access Fund Coordinator at 492- 424]. All replies will be kept confidential.

ATTENTION!

Application forms are out for Nomcom and they will be available at the SUB, HUB, and CAB Info booths and the S.U. reception. Forms must be returned to the S.U. receptionist by Friday, March 14, 1997. Thank you for you participation.

FREE! FREE! FREE!

There are five free movie passes available from the S.U. Receptionist (2-900 SUB) for a movie on Wednesday, 5 March 1997. The first five people to come to the S.U. Ex- ecutive offices and tell us which was your favorite S.U. show

of the year, will receive a double guest pass to see “Waiting for Guffman (A new comedy from the lead guitarist of ‘Spi- nal Tap’)”.

Campus.Link

The Official Newspaper of the University of Alberta Science Undergrad Society (UASUS) ¢ Vol 15 ¢ Issue 1 ¢ February, 1997

President’s Message

Welcome to the 1997 edition of the Free Radical! My name is Gilbert Lung, the president of UASUS - University of Alberta Sci- ence Undergraduate Society. There, now you’ve read it — you can’t say “huh?” the next time you hear the acronym. When our past president resigned and I

they should have built a sleeping room on the second floor!) During mid-November, UASUS was the guinea pig for the ONE-card (they’re going to get on my case for writing it incorrectly) with by-elections. Fag-ro Austin (uh Fadro), through undertable bribes, picked two peo-

ending up with a black nail and Bill beginning his anti-OSA campaign. UASUS began its fundraising cam- paign driven by Shaun (who took it upon himself to visit all the brewer- ies in Edmonton . . . do I sense an- other motive?) to fund future events and the possibility of a scholarship

for Science stu-

took over this position this past fall, I didn’t know what I was getting my- self into. How- ever, it’s turned out to be a pretty good year . so far. So, you’re all won- dering what UASUS is and what it does for you? (not really, eh?) Well, let me give you a summary of all our events held this academic year. UASUS is

UNIVERSITY OF AL} SLOWPOKE FACIL

Pigase OBEY Posted Notices and Instructions

e4 Hour Emergency Phone Number 6855

Hey, did you know that there is a special facility | for arts students? Yeah, I’m serious.

dents. Mid-Janu- ary, we held a Sci- ence Forum for students interested in different science departments, get- ting more informa- tion about their own department, professional pro- gram interests, or getting more info about jobs from CAPS. The forum was a success for exposing students to what Science and its departments had to offer. Through some swindling and some casual-

a faculty asso- ciation which tries to unite all Sci- ence students (the key word here is try) and department clubs. At the be- ginning of the year, we held our 13th annual SCIENCE WEEK event which, I am proud to say, did better than any of our past years with an increased turnout (unlike some other faculty association who had to can- cel their event due to poor turnout.) Soon after, UASUS bought some of the old couches which used to be on the 2nd floor of the SU building and relocated them to the Biological Sci- ences Building (they’re still used for the same purpose mind you... I say

e Science Convocation Day e June 4th,

e Graduation Photographs e

March 19th - By Smart Photography

Offical photographer for UASUS & the Faculty of Science (S10 sitting fee) Sign-up at UASUS office, M-142 Bio Sci

Faculty of Science Students...

ple to complete our exec — Kyriacos Panayides (or is it Pete... I can never tell) as VP Finance and Jeff “I am never here” Man as VP Comput- ing. We also elected SU and GFC members to better serve our >5000

faculty population (that’s “greater

than” for those non-science stu- dents).

Over Christmas, we saw the takedown of the SANDRA BUL-

LOCK WALL, the creation of

OSASUS, and the restock of the in- famous “Lab Partner” shirts. New Years rolled in with Matt sticking his finger where he shouldn’t have and

ties, we purchased and moved lockers from the SU and placed them in the Science study hall in the basement of Cameron (al- though there are more students down there from faculties other than sci- ence). And now, we’re up-to-date. Whew! Enough of my blab- bing . . that’s a wrap for this year! I hope you enjoy this year’s edition of the Free Radical because I know Shaun’s been working pretty hard on it. Good luck on all your midterms and finals. Oh, and if you have any questions about involvement oppor- tunities (science elections are com- ing up soon), please swing by UASUS (M-142 BioSci) or email us (uasus@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca).

2:00pm

March 21st

Thought of the Day

“Everything is produced everywhere and does everything.”

- Dv. S. Harvey, Physiology

(in reference to the neuroimmunoendocrine roles of all tissues and their non-traditional site production)

a

Q: Some bars in the city have these really cool black lights that make some cloth- ing fluoresce. But whenever I have a gin aad tonic, my drink lights up as well. So my ques- tion for you, Mr. Science, is how come my drink glows under these lights? '

- Glow girl

A: Dear Glow girl: When you were at the bar, you were witness to the im- portant and fascinating phenomenon of fluo- rescence, the prompt emission of longer wavelength light when a molecule absorbs a shorter wavelength of light. The fluorescence emission that you observed from your “gin and tonic” actually has to do with the tonic water content of your drink. In tonic water is an active ingredient called quinine, a natu- ral product extracted from the bark of the cinchona tree which is native to the Andean highlands in South America. This organic compound has a complex ring structure and is classified as an alkaloid by organic chem- ists. In fact, it is quinine that is responsible for the bitter taste of tonic water. With the subsequent addition of large amounts of sugar and carbonation, tonic water is made

into a valued drink mix.

Furthermore, black lights emit low intensity ultraviolet light in the 360 nm range as well some low end visible light (this is the violet color you see when a black light is on!). This portion of the EM (electromag- netic) spectrum is shorter than that of the vis- ible light (400nm - 680nm 4 violet - red). Therefore, the invisible UV light absorbed by quinine molecules causes the release of photon energy in a form visible to our eyes. The result is the appearance of a “glowing” blue drink.

Next time you’re at the bar, however, try adding a couple pinches of ordinary ta- ble salt (NaCl) to your drink (that is if you’ve finished drinking it). When NaCl is added to tonic water, the fluorescence emission will be reduced. This phenomenon is called fluo- rescence quenching and involves a chemical interaction of the chloride ion with the elec- tronically excited quinine molecule, thereby reducing the efficiency of emission. Try it and you can impress your friends with your scientific know-how.

- Mr. Science

Q: Iftwo people are directly across from each other on a merry-go-round or_the roto ride at a carnival and one person throws a ball directly across to the other person, what happens? Does the ball travel in a straight line, or will it curve? If the ball is thrown directly across towards the other person, will it pass through the center of the circle? If you throw the ball with very little force, will it come back to you? (If it comes back to you, then from an outside observer’s point of view, it must curve). What other strange things come into play when you do this?

- Twirling and Whirling

A: Dear Twirling and Whirling: The ball would NOT pass through the center point. The ball would go off onan angle. The reason that this would occur is because there is a vector component for sideways move- ment (perpendicular to the direction that you throw the ball). You can see this if you swing a rope with a weight on the end ina circle. If you suddenly let go, the rope and weight will take a straight path. Likewise if you spin very fast on a merry-go-round and let an object go, it will take a straight path and nota curved

Me. SClENCE!

path like the rider. These are examples of the sideways vector component. If a person is rapidly spinning on a merry-go-round and he throws a ball toward the center, it would have 2 directional forces acting on it: 1) the straight out force (throwing it to the center) and 2) the sideways force caused by the spinning (discussed above). Therefore the ball would not pass through the center but would pass somewhere between the center point and the side of the merry-go-round.

A movie called “Coreolis effect in daily life” shows an example of this situa- tion. The URL is: http:// covis.atmos.uiuc.edu/guide/forces/html/ coriolis1.html . Please note that this movie example introduces another complicating factor; the element of friction when a ball is rolled on the ground. If you throw the ball very gently, it would land on the floor of the merry-go-round and not come back to you. In the movie the ball returns to you due to the centrifugal force on the ball by the spin- ning carousel.

- Mr. Science

Unauthorized Try-this-at-Home Experiments

Experiment 1: Flammable Fruit EFFECT: A small explosion is produced from an ordinary match and an orange rind.

PROPS NEEDED: One (1) orange rind, one (1) match

HOW YOU DO IT: Light the match by striking the red tip on the side of the match

container. Do not forget to close the con- tainer before striking! Once the match is lit, hold the orange rind approximately one (1) inch away from the lit match. Squeeze the rind until it produces a fine mist of mouth watering nectar. Presto! A small explosion for friends and family to enjoy.

COMMENTS: This experiment works especially well if it is executed near: household pets, silly string or chromium dioxide.

Experiment 2: Punctured, Oozing Eye EFFECT: Ramming a pencil into your eye produces a suitably disgusting effect. PROPS NEEDED: One (1) freshly sharpened pencil, one (1) mini cream con- tainer

HOW YOU DO IT: “Palm” the mini cream container with the paper cover fac-

ig lotta’, of

eighing

EEE,

a mole

Ae

POSITIONS: UASUS EXECUTIVE ¢ PRESIDENT, NP ACADEMIC, NP ACTIVITIES, NP COMMUNICATIONS, NP FINANCE

AND NP COMPUTING

7 GFC POSITIONS, 5 SU REPRESENTATIVES,

12 SFC REPRESENTATIVES

ELECTIONS ‘97

SCHEDULE:

Nominations Open - Feb. 28, 1997 Elections - To Be Announced

ing towards your fingers. Bring your hand up to your eye. Bring the other hand hold- ing the pencil toward your face. For maxi- mum effect make sure the eraser faces

away from your face. Slowly slide the pencil tip between the fingers of the hand covering your eye. [An important element of this experiment that cannot be stressed

enough is the need to drive the sharp pen- cil tip into the paper covering of the mini cream container and not the soft, moist cornea of your eye. While lancing your eyeball with a pencil is an excellent ef- fect, it has the added draw backs of caus- ing permanent blindness, hurting a lot and causing tremendous embarrassment when friends and family realize it was supposed to be a trick and you’re just an inept goofbag.] As you lance the paper cover- ing of the mini cream container, cream will cascade forth. At this time a comment such as “Whooee, this smarts”, or “I haven’t been in this much pain since I slammed my finger in the car door’, is in order. An intelligent person might con- sider the depth of the mini cream con- tainer and not exceed this depth when forcing the sharp, jagged, stinging lead of the pencil through the mini cream con- tainer top.

COMMENTS: This is not an experiment. Penn and Teller who?

Combustible

Experiment as Coffeemate® EFFECT: A blinding fireball is produced when a spark is added to Coffeemate Non Dairy Creamer®.

PROPS NEEDED: One (1) packet of Coffeemate Non Dairy Creamer®, one (1) match

HOW YOU DOIT: Tear open the small packet of Coffeemate Non Dairy Creamer®. Light the match by striking the red tip on the side of the match container. Do not forget to close the container be- fore striking! Pour contents of packet over flame. Voile - a blinding fireball. COMMENTS: Gives new meaning to “hot java’. It’s a great idea to get your arm out of the way right after pouring the Coffeemate Non Dairy Creamer®. Even better idea is to be wearing a fire retard-

ant asbestos suit. Editor’s Note: For a visual view of these experiments, visit the web-site from which we “borrowed” them: http:/

/www.yeeeoww.com/lampoon/Columns/Wayne.html

s fo any grant ap eis that one |

cave published in academic r journals les { Gant oy

BIOLOGY Ww. Brian Sweeney, I [Brian Krafte-Jacobs, o Ww, -

OMICS Ok, this one’s <A ch paper or a oe but - it de

SU Dr. Lopez's re- lished in The Loune ° of -

fail: atin cup; a beer | t's remarkable | consisting off

3 Join a science club tee ae 2 =

Biochemistry Students’

Association (BCSA)

The BCSA is a group of students connected in one way or another with the biochemistry program. Of course, no matter what program you’re in, you’re welcome to join us. Some of the fun things we do are camping trips dur- ing the summer, ski trips, play soccer and volleyball intramurals, host an annual indoor soccer tournament and consume alcohol. Ethanol is converted to acetaldehyde by alco- hol dehydrogenase, and acetaldehyde is con- verted to acetic acid by aldehyde dehydrogenase with NADH forming from NAD' in each step. This is the major meta- bolic pathway in alcohol metabolism. Pretty neat, eh? As well, we have past exams from our exam registry, grad school info, cheap food and snacks, a computer to do schoolwork on, a microwave to zap your lunch, old textbooks for reference, and lots of cool and friendly members! So drop by our room at Med. Sci. Bldg. 3-58 or visit our website at http:// gpu.srv.ualberta.ca/~bcsa/BCSA. html. Ron Tupas President BCSA

Earth and Atmosphere

Sciences Association (EASA)

Do you know what pukak, skree, haboob, laccoliths and dibbles are, and are you having a hard time finding someone else who knows? If you do, or even if you don’ t, your rea prime candidate’ for the é s :

Physical),.Geq letegroleén ordinating exciting social events: eine to host guest speaker seminars and providing a socio-academic atmosphere along with many other fringe benefits (microwave, TV, munchies, etc . . .). Besides, it is probably the only place where you’ll find people who know what pukak, skree, haboob, laccoliths and dib- bles are! We’re cool down-to-earth people (no pun intended) and we know you'll want to be a part of our friendly atmosphere. Come and

check us out at Tory 3-6.

Kori Maleski President EASA <earth@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca>

Environmental Physical Sciences Students Association

year’ bership +, EPSSA or the”

ote sttifo about Ay not come and visit us in P535c dat Bhatia Physics

UASUS General Store (BSM- 142) !

Lab) or check out our Home Page at http:// www.ualberta.ca/~epssa.

Laurie Bates

President EPSSA

Mathematical Sciences

Society (MSS)

The M is a pri- marily embers from al

492 3612 E-mail:

www. aN, alberta, ca/~mss David Shaw President MSS

Organization of Botany

Students (OBS)

OBS comprises of both graduate and under graduate students pursuing studies in the area of Plant Biology. It also acts as a social focal point for its members and as a liaison between staff and students by promoting seminars, ac- tivities, and peer interactions. In keeping with this mandate, a $200 undergrad. award is of- fered to a returnign student demonstrating an interest in plant sciences, involvement in OBS activities, and having a min. GPA of 7.0. Dealine is March 1, 1997. Looking for study space?!! Check out B409A. Comes complete with: fridge, microwaves, study carols, tables, couch and lockers. OBS NEW AND IM- PROVED MUGS ARE IN!! ONLY $5.50! Come see Kim (B409A), Grace (B423) or Janice (CW456). Up-coming dates to remem- ber: Feb. 26,1997 - lecturer Janice King talks on Arginine and Arginase in Loblolly Pine Seedlings (CW313 @ noon) AND Feb 28, 1997 for BAKE SALE! Look for postings. Jay White <whitejay@gpu...> President OBS

Undergraduate Genetics Association (UGA)

To sum up our club in a simple way is to say “Home of the Gods” (joke). Although we are a club for genetic oriented students, we be- lieve in promoting an environment conduc- tive to studying, relaxing, and socializing. We hold many academic and social functions throughout the school year to help you with your marks (suck up) and to let you relax. Events like paintball war games just seems to make the tension leave the body. We also have an extension library with an exam registry for most genetics classes. Additionally, we have anice lounge with comfortable couches, clas- sic Atari““and Super NES“, TV (for Simpsons),

Pop $ 0.75 | Popcorn $ 1.00 WEB Notes | Chips $ 0.75

| Choco Bars | Laser Print

$ O.10/sheet

Sci T-shirt $ 15.00

Stay tuned kiddies..

is on the way. It’s

going to be amazing [

a brand new T- shirt |

great caffeine-rich foods, and a soon-to-be- here pool table. When you wish to walk and talk with the Gods, come on down to M140B in the Bio-Sci building.

Undergraduate Physiology Students’ Association (UPSA) - “Hey, it’s your body.” Another successful year has gone by thanks to our enthusiastic SxeCUtIYes | and members.

The bake saletaised money to ee toys *26°-97°

volléyball team is ESE INS some butt atthe next tourney. Although we don’t have any munchies to sell you, we do have large turnouts at our Beer‘‘n Pizza and donut méet- ings. ‘Everything’ S, By REE, of course. forget fg show up. to our year énd bonfirg! And for thoge of you ‘wha are’ interested irf ‘being a part of the UPSA for next year,-eontact me by e-mail at <gechan@gpu. srv.ualberta.ca> be- cause elections are coming up soon. We all had a blast this year and you will too! Geneva Chan President UPSA

Undergraduate Psychology

Association (UPA)

We are a group of Psychology students trying to help your experience here at the U of A to be as full as possible. We have an office full of information on volunteer opportunities, grad school information, cheap junk food, and much, much more.. We also hold Academic forums for your information and Social events for your entertainment. You don’t have to be in Psychology, just interested in it. If you want to venture out to visit us we are located in P- 130 in the Bio Sci building, stop by our web page at: www.ualberta.ca/~upa, or e-mail us at: upa@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca. Remember we

know what you are thinking .... we just don’t care. Angela Gour President UPA Zoology Students’ Association (ZSA) The ZSA is for Biglogi¢a ence students

interested in: zetlogy and rela times wer tig trees, put flowers’ ep set hair and commune with nature. eUSu

aninfafs point of;

exam ¥égistry and; si s A lof nutriti@tial foods i gat a The CBS tias a compiifer available ds Sue mefiibers

as well asthe memb' a3 the OBS ankGA. So, bring “your oe to rooms =140B,

BioSci. E-m4y}5Z @gpu. Lstvitalbe erta.ca> or visit our wet see a i Hatberta, ca/~zsa Alison Cole

President ZSA

University of Ribena

Free Radical

Published Since 1982 Volume 15 Issue 1

Editor-in-Chief: Shaun Loewen The Players: Austin Chen Bill Curry Sébastien Gittens Gilbert Lung Jeff “invisible” Man Pete Panayides

Contributors: Shaun Loewen Gilbert “one” Lung Travis Thompson Science Department Clubs

UASUS Executive Duties and Reports

Vice-President Academic- Austin Chen

What I maintain and what UASUS of- fers: 1. Universal Course Evaluations for all Science professors 2. Complete Listings of Undergraduate and Graduate Programs for all Canadian Universities 3. Information about Science Programs and Professional Faculties (yes, includ- ing medicine, geste dentistry and pharmacy for most, ana-_ dian Universities) £ 4. Student Academic Concern§ in the Faculty of Science 4 Part of my duty as VP academic algo ap- points me as the Faculty Appé Deputy Returning Officer (FA

toral science representation for Students’ Union, General Faculties Council, and the* UASUS executive. This is a reminder that elections for these positions will be held i in late March. (see election ‘97 advertisement for more details)

which makes me responsible for all ele

Vice-President Activities - Bill Cu

We managed to host a few events this year.” those being Science Week and the Science

Forum. For those of you who missed Sci-

ence Week (just about all of you) it was the

third week in September. We also held the

first ever Science Forum this year in late

January, which was quite successful and will

hopefully return next year. If you have any

ideas for events or want to volunteer for

UASUS, feel free to stop by the office. Jeff Mansucks!

Vice-President Communications - Shaun Loewen It’s been a great year! I can’t express to you how much fun it is to be involved with UASUS. If you ever get the chance to be involved in a student group, I urge you to do so! As the communications officer for UASUS, I maintaip.a: direct link to our ex- ternal contacts aiid variousinternal aspects. So what’s that‘mean?? It means I’m the guy who deals with our contact cottgpanies and ‘as well as maintain 4

TE:

es i e first

few he of Ve It, : really cool. Ohi ‘by the 2 way; UAS US aa sup- port in an the usage ‘ofateakl during

“atiy r delicate lab experiment, anighal ¢ or oth="

beer com- ember that.

erwise, just, because we pany on our new shirt. P’

Vice President Coinputing - Jeffrey Man My responsibilities at UASUS include:

1) printing and selling web notes for Biol. 107/108 courses

2) maintaining the illustrious UASUS web site

3) maintaining the two computers and the laser printer

4) Unfortunately, I don’t live up to these responsibilities because I’m always at the CSA.

Vice President Finance - Panayiotis Michalakis Panayides (Pete) 1) maintain funds and financial records for UASUS 2) prepare budgets, maintain ledger of ac- counts, collecting funds, providing regular reports and coordinating fundraising ac-

rkable..... -tiyities

ign the checks, baby

ld the position of VP Finance for

mately three months now. I am mainly responsible for making UASUS’s budget, renting out lockers to students, mak- ingsure that UASUS is stocked up on cheap ae food, and providing low prices for la-

ser printing. Presently, we have ordered

*, _ many “lab partner” t-shirts which are avail- “able to students for a low low price of $15.

Tf you want to know more about what : S offers, stop by some time at the of- fice {M-142 Bio Sci) and talk to me (the other execs are boring or just

never there).

s is % oe

Male Sports - Sébastien Gittens Being the sports rep for the faculty of sci- ence, it is my responsibility to create and subsidize sports teams through Campus Rec. for students in the Faculty of Science. We currently have individuals playing basket- ball, volleyball, hockey as well as many other activities offered by Campus Rec. Though it’s rather late in the year, should there be any sports or activities you would like to participate in—please feel free to contact me through the Campus Rec office or UASUS.

University of Alberta Faculty of Science Degrees and Programs

B ner

BSc Specialization

BSc Honors

Majors and Minors may be completed in the following areas:

be completed in the following subjects:

A Specialization degree may

An Honors degree may be completed in the following subjects:

Biological Sciences

Actuarial Sciences

Earth Sciences Atmospheric Sciences Atmospheric Sciences Mathematical Sciences Biochemistry Biochemistry Physical Sciences Cell Biology Cell Biology Cell Biotechnology Cell Biotechnology and in the following Chemistry Chemistry subjects: a x Computing Science Computing Science Chemistry Environmental Biology Environmental Biology Environmental Earth Environmental Earth 2 a Sciences Sciences Geology Environmental Physical Sciences _ Mathematics Geology Geology Geophysics Geophysics Physics Invertebrate Biology Invertebrate B Biology = Mathematics Mathematics Statistics Mathematics and Mathematics and Economics Economics Mathematics and Finance Psychology Mathematical Physics Microbiology Microbiology Molecular Genetics Molecular Genetics Neuroscience Paleontology Pharmacology Pharmacology Physiology Physics Physics Physiology and Physiology and Developmental Biology Developmental Biolo Piant Biology Piant Biology _ Psychology Psychology Statistics Statistics

Systematics and Evolution

Systematics and Evolution

Information about Faculty of Science programs may be obtained by calling the Faculty of Science Student Services Office at 492-4758 or on the Web,

http://eta.sci.ualberta.ca